The Ethical Slut is often called the ‘bible’ of non-monogamy

According to Dr Khandis Blake of the University of Melbourne, in 2022 “around 4-5 percent of young people might be involved with a polyamorous relation, and around 20 percent have probably tried one.”

Statistics on Polyamory in Australia are very limited. Recent research shows that in the US, just over 11% are in polyamorous relationship. Meanwhile, 20% have participated in non-monogamy. Just under 10 percent of UK residents are open to non-monogamy.

The co-authors in The Ethical Slut have written a classic guide to non-monogamy, which is called “the Poly Bible”.

The Ethical Slut is co-authored by Janet W. Hardy, Dossie Eason and Penguin Random House. Stephanie Mohan/Penguin Random House

The book was published in 1997, and it broke social norms. It also helped to dispel stigmas associated with non-traditional relationships. It has now been revised for cultural changes such as gender diversity and technological innovations (such as dating apps) in its third edition. Since its 1997 first publication, it has sold more than 200,000 copies.

As a nonmonogamy practitioner, I am happy to read literature that seeks to de-stigmatise relationships outside of monogamy.

Janet W. Hardy, a sexual educator, and Dossie E. Easton, a psychotherapist, are two “ethicalsluts”, who describe themselves as queer and polyamorous. They are friends, lovers, and collaborators. Their book takes readers inside their world, where they have multiple partners and engage in multiple types of sex. This book encourages readers to consider their own desires and ways in which they can be met ethically.

Easton, who had a daughter at the time, decided to avoid monogamy in 1969 after ending a relationship that was traumatic. In 1973, she taught her first course on “unlearning jealousy”. Hardy ended a 13-year relationship in 1988 after she realized that monogamy was not for her. The couple met in 1992 through a San Francisco BDSM Group.

Hardy was sick and in bed two years later when he stumbled upon the movie Indecent Proposal. A marriage falls apart after a millionaire Robert Redford gives a married couple (played by Woody Harrelson & Demi Moore) who are madly in love but struggling with money, a dollar for one night.

The Ethical Slut was inspired by the 1993 film Indecent Proposal.

“A million bucks and Robert Redford and they have an issue with this?” Hardy said to Rolling Stone that it made no sense. “I realized at that time how far removed I was from the mainstream sexual ethics,” Hardy told Rolling Stone.

The Ethical Slut provides a thoughtful and responsible guide for navigating sexual freedom and open relationships. The book is aimed at those who are interested in exploring polyamory or helping loved ones do so.

What is The Ethical Slut?

The book is divided in four sections, with each section offering mental exercises that will help readers adopt a sexually varied lifestyle. The book is aimed at those who are interested in exploring nonmonogamous relationships without stigma or shame.

The first part provides an overview of monogamy. The ethical slut is someone who approaches relationships with care and communication for their partner, whether they are casual or committed. They also stay true to their desires.

In the second part, the authors urge readers to break free from the “ They explain that this leads to possessiveness and fear in relationships, dating and sex.

Part three teaches readers how to deal with jealousy, insecurity and conflicts.

The authors also cover non-monogamy sexual practices. The authors offer tips on how to navigate swinging relationships and open relationships for singles, as well as group sex. They also give advice on asking what you want during a sexual encounter.

“Everything is out at a large buffet.”

The appeal of the Ethical Slut lies in its ability to help people change their minds about monogamy in a culture where other relationships are often deemed as immoral. This is slowly changing.

 

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